The Rat Race

 It is a fact that corporates invest in training. Being in the field of HR, training, and education, I have observed the ups and downs corporates and employees undergo. Pandemic has proved that uncertainty is the norm.

With so much focus on adult learning, what are we doing about Child development?

In India, much focus is on getting into IIT, IIM. If one becomes an engineer or doctor then parents feel that their child’s life is set.

One can see a rising pattern for the past decade that children are groomed from the 8^th standard for competitive exams. Where is childhood?

Even if the child wants to do something different, parents’ ambition takes over. Parents say, “No no, there are no career options. Getting a formal degree is important.”

Then the same child struggles later in life with emotional turmoil.

Education is important, but do we conveniently ignore developing the other faculties of mind and becoming a part of the rat race? Of course, if we are bought up in a particular way, it becomes a challenge to do out-of-the-box thinking.

Do we as adults develop our skills (other than professional skills)? Do we invest in pursuing our interests’ hobbies?

Three important things every child must enroll, studies should be secondary. Creating a culture of learning is important.

Sports – Children must be a part of some or other sports. This creates a sense of discipline and activity in the brain of a child.

Art – Drawing or painting. Please note that this helps a long way in developing the creative faculty of the brain.

Music – Singing or playing an instrument. This opens avenues to the world of freedom.

The above three are vital to developing focus. Which we now call mindfulness. Studies done without the above three will have their limitations.

We need to gauge. Do we want our children to be a part of the rat race?

 

With Gratitude

Dr. Sonali Wagle

The Recruiter’s Bias

Whether we like it or not, we all have biases and preferences. Plenty is written in Management theories on this topic.

The problem comes when our biases come in between hiring talent for our company. Especially such talent that may question our work and our inflated ego.

The question is, are we brave enough to admit? – ‘Yes, I am biased’.

I surveyed to check the reasons behind such biases. It was interesting to see that majority admitted that they have their ego precedes the talent when they recruit. People (CXO/VP/ Department heads/ Executives) from various departments, provided the following answers. 

1.       Profit: Do not know how to calculate the profit of a person’s hire. 
2       Insecurity: My insecurities
3.       Role: My role may become redundant
4.       Comfort: My comfort to hire a person
5.       Ignorance: Am I biased?
6.       Risk: I do not want to risk my job.
7.       Data: Hire on perception rather than facts
8.       Thinking: Conditioning.
9.       Policy: Company policy.
10.   Competition: Interested in competition rather than talent.
11.   Challenge: Do not want to challenge the recruitment practices.
12.   Reference: Hire based on references.
13.   Skills: Do not know how to calculate the value of the talent of a person.
14.   Preferences: Give more importance to the academic performance rather than what the person may know.
15.   Stereotype: Gender plays an important role while hiring.
16.   Ethical dilemma: There is a dilemma to put my role first or the company’s need.

 The question remains to be answered – Am I biased while recruiting? 

With Gratitude

Dr. Sonali Wagle

Mindfulness: Does it work?

 

A client called to check on the mindfulness programs for the leadership team. Having done a few programs for done, I was aware of their company culture. He asked me if these mindfulness programs work or are they kind of a fad. Following is the snippet of our conversation.

Me: What makes you think that mindfulness is a fad?

Client: Wherever I go, I hear people talk about it- be it conferences or boardrooms or meetings.

Me: If you believe, it is a fad, it is. If you don’t believe it is a fad, and know how to make use of mindfulness, it works wonders.

Client: How does it benefit me?

Me: The benefits outweigh far more than you can imagine. Mindfulness covers all aspects of professional and personal life. It improves decision-making, risk-taking ability, productivity, effectiveness, sales, customer management. It also helps to develop empathy, sensitive to customer needs, and understand employees.

Client: How does mindfulness work.

Me: Gaining mindfulness expertise has two aspects: 1. Theoretical, that includes the process and the tools. 2. Functional, which includes the mindfulness process putting into practice.

Client: Looks complex.

Me: Everything at the first looks complex. Once we know how it works, it is an easy thing to do.

Client: Is it expensive?

Me: It is an investment. Remember, it is your mind that you use. And your mind stays with you. So, kind of it is free. Your mind is free to use or you are free to use your mind.

At  first, using mindfulness may take time, later it becomes a part and parcel of your life. It becomes easy provided you know how to use it and make it work. You have to be open. This pandemic has made open the work from home culture. Corporates are embracing it like never before. Earlier people would not have believed that work from home culture could work. Companies are changing the way systems and processes work. The same goes with mindfulness. So be mindful.

 

 

 

Qualifications and Certifications, does it matter?

 At one point, I did dream of getting a Nobel prize in physics. I am always in awe of Nobel prize winners. I have followed them year after year. Nevertheless, I didn’t do much in physics. Having won numerous other awards and educational qualifications, I realized a few things ten years back.

1.    I was getting qualifications year after year. Many of which I didn’t even bother to mention.

2.    I was wearing a mask. A mask to prove myself to people/ colleagues/ clients/ bosses. Instead of being happy within, my energy, efforts went into making them happy.

3.    Making others happy came at a cost. A cost of frustration, jealousy, resentment, anger, guilt, blame, worry and tension.

4.    I was getting certifications. Don’t know how earning those, has helped me here in India. I have yet to figure it out. It came to a point where I felt enough is enough-when for a job interview the interviewer asked me, ‘Do you have _____ certification’. He named few certifications. I told him that he had my resume already. I had written all my qualifications, certifications in it. Then if I did not possess the certifications they expected in the candidate, why did they call me and wasted my time. Are they even looking at the qualifications and certifications I have?

I realized that people most of the time point out the things you don’t have rather than what you have. “Oh, you only have these qualifications, you don’t have those qualifications”. Full stop. I realized that I need to refabricate and use the qualifications and certifications I have because no matter what I had there will be a set of people who will demand more.

Being in the OD/ HR/ L&D area and mindfulness coach, my main aim is to make my clients understand that happiness is the key. I work with clients to achieve mindfulness, which in turn will create value in their personal and professional life. It increases productivity, effectiveness, better decision-making, and better risk analysis.

And mind you, being mindful does earn sufficient money and far more, and the way you want to earn it. Being mindful, you do not have to worry about what people think. You know your job and you know for sure that your productivity and efficiency have increased.

So do I have a qualification in Mindfulness? Technically, yes, I do. I have already completed my basic, advance, Abhidhamma (all three levels completed) in Vipassana theory and practice to understand and dive deep into mindfulness. Do I need more certifications? No, what I need is how do I practice the skills I have gained over the years.

 Have your qualifications and certifications helped you and in what way? Why are you earning those in the first place? Qualifications and certifications, do they matter, and to what extent?

 With gratitude

Sonali Wagle

 

Application of the Bhayabherava Sutta in Daily life

 Dealing with Fear and Anxiety.

I presented a paper at the 'Antevāsikānaṃ Pāli Parisā' conference, University of Mumbai.
Title: Application of the Bhayabherava Sutta (discourse) in Daily Life.

We live in uncertain times. Changes are happening at the speed that they become blur before one can know what is happening. Most of us are scared and fearful of the events that have grasped us. One of the challenges that we face is how to handle such uncertainties that lead to fear. The citta (mind) like a pendulum dwells in one of the emotional states – fear, doubt, guilt, anger, and resentment. Out of this fear is the most captured of the emotion. Fear comes in
various facets. Fear of failure, fear of death, fear of losing a loved one, fear of loss, fear to suffer, fear of change, fear of unknown, and fear to face fear.
The Bhayabherava Sutta captures the essence of how to handle fear. It gives a direction on the process to be followed when one is in the fear zone.
To know more about how the Sutta can be applied in daily life to deal with fear and anxiety, do write to me on wagle.sonali@gmail.com

#leadership #motivation #life #change #mindset #mindfulnessmeditation #mindfulness #mindfulleadership #mindfulnessatwork #mindfulnesspractice #mindsetcoaching #coachingculture

Generosity and Kindness

 

Generosity and kindness examples could be seen today at Mahim, maternity nursing home, vaccination center, Mumbai. The BMC has made fantastic arrangement at the venue.

Outside in the premises, tents are built for people. There were two areas one for senior citizens above 70 years of age and the other age group. Water bottles were provided to all. Another area was made for people to wait for half an hour post the vaccination.

The staff was extraordinary good, polite, courteous. The police were humble. Never in my life have I seen the BMC so well equipped with so much of service a case study to look for.

This gives me the faith in humanity in human existence. Being a mindfulness practitioner, this is a classic case of the mindfulness shown by the entire BMC staff and Mumbai police.

With gratitude

Sonali Wagle

Does it matter in 2040?

It is 2040, and today I reflect the year 2020. Oh! my what a year it was, so many shocks. Covid19 pandemic shook the entire world. Hopefully, many of us came to our senses.

I still remember, people were fussing over many things then

• Not getting parmesan or cheddar cheese on pizza.
• How can I use red chili instead of green chili for the curry? (What difference does it make).
• I just cannot eat bland food. (Who cares?)
• Why that delivery boy has yet not delivered on time. (They are humans too).
• I have not seen a movie in three months. (Good you saved your/ parents/ spouse/ children’s hard-earned money).
• When will the school start? (Online learning was available).
• When will the house helper start coming? (She is suffering the pandemic too).
• Oh god everyone is at home, now double the work. (You made those choices)
• So much of household chores (It is your house, or are you doing household chores for others?)
•  Losing jobs. (So what, didn’t you save for the rainy day).
• I lost my one full year of academics. My engineering degree was delayed by one full year. (Check my article to be posted by end of July on this topic).
• Losing some revenue or not making money for a few months.

Do we even remember any such things now, in 2040? Does it matter in 2040?

Today I realize how much hue and cry we make without realizing that such things  may not matter in the future (another article on the topic, ‘so what matters’). The pandemic was just the tip of the iceberg. The way human beings have abused the environment, the future will tell.

So much have we abused nature

•  Building sky rises
• Huge houses even for one or two people
• Not thinking of sustainable development
• Not thinking of the larger good
• Harming nature to boost the so-called egos of the people in power
• Changing technology (mobile/ gadgets) in less then a year or two just because we want to be with the latest technology or for status
• Big cars only for one person

And all that was in 2020. Look at us, aren’t we still alive in 2040 having gotten over the pandemic. Have we learned something from it or all of it was just for the sake of hue and cry? Who knows what will happen in 2050? Many may argue that what matters is subjective. I do agree. To argue even on that, does it matter?

Do write what matters on contactus@exponentialadvisory.co.in

Measurements in Buddhism

We have a lot of literature available in Indian texts-  Veda and Buddhism texts. Today’s article focuses on the use of concepts of Buddhism in the corporate world.

Buddhism is divided into three areas. The Buddha talks about

• Pariyatti – The texts, literature, the study.
• Patipatti – The use of the texts in our day-to-day life. The Samatā and Vipassanā meditation form an integral part of patipatti.
• Pativedha – The nibbānic state, beyond mind and matter. The benefits of using patipatti in daily life.

Pariyatti consists of the texts called as the Tipiṭaka

• Vinay Piṭaka - code of conduct for the monks.
• Sutta Piṭaka - code of conduct for laypeople.
• Abhidhamma Piṭaka - texts covering aspects of mind and matter.

A lot to learn from the Sutta Piṭaka texts. The Buddha model covers all aspects of corporate management. Pariyatti covers the ‘Ariya Aṭṭangika Māgga (Eightfold noble path)’. Pattipatti covers the path and shows how walking on the path gives immense benefits that go beyond the human mind.

If seen minutely it can help us in the areas such as productivity, risk-taking, decision making, conflict resolution, revenue generation, handle stress, build resilience, generate empathy.

Only if we start using the concepts covered in Buddhist texts in our daily life personal and professional that results will be seen. Not just Human resources, training, and OD professionals but also other departments can use the content available in Buddhist literature. Though one may categorize Buddhist text as philosophy, when read and made use of in daily life, one realizes that it has major component of management.

Reference – Dhammacakkappavattana Sutta (Samyutta Nikāya SN 56.11)

The rest

The lion eats what he needs and leaves the rest,

we take what we need and the rest.

If only one can learn from nature,

the animals, the birds, the plants and the seasons,

there is no need to complain for any reason.

How do we come out of self-made blindfold to listen to stories untold,

for one does not know what is the best,

to take it and to rest.

The power of the powerless

I grew up listening and reading stories of Rāmāyana and Mahābhārata. Thanks also to the producers Ramānanda Sāgar and B. R. Choprā for having produced the epics. I remember elders used to tell that Sitā and Draupadi are the ‘Pati vratā’. Though never understood the meaning.

Sitā came from Dharti (earth). She is considered the daughter of the earth. She was found by her adoptive father Rājā Janaka. An epitome of sacrifice and purity, there are many verses of Sitā's life. Sitā went with her husband Rāma for 14 years of vanvās (exile), went through agni Parīkṣā an ordeal of fire to prove her chastity, was a single mother to her sons Luv and Kush. So powerful is she that in the end, when she could not bear the cruelties of the world and the blame of her husband Rāma that she calls to her mother earth and returns to the womb of the mother.

Draupadi came from Agni (fire). She is the daughter of King Drupada, the wife of Pāndavas. She is powerful being the daughter of fire. Yet, she had to suffer 13 years of exile. She also had to suffer the ordeal of Dushāsana’s attempt to disrobe her in front of a gathering. She then calls Śrī Krishṇā to save her from the plight. 

The two most powerful women have a lot to tell. Few questions come to mind.

• Sitā and Draupadi were both powerful. They were the daughters of Dharti and Agni. Daughters born with immense power. In spite of all the power, wonder they felt helpless and powerless whether it was Rāvaṇa or Dushāsana.
•  Did their power vanish or were they conditioned not to use their power in front of men and societal atrocities? If powerful women such as Sitā and Draupadi can fall prey to traps then what to say of the ladies who are vulnerable.
• Wonder why they required the support of Rāma or Krishṇa to save them from the clutches of men.
• How the epics portray women, that they can make them lame and societal pressures can crush them, this is the way society conditions the women for generations.
• If so powerful were they, why could not Sitā and Draupadi use their powers to defend themselves, why did they feel the need of men to save them or were they not aware of their powers.

Such questions remain unanswered. In the end, one realizes, Men wrote both the epics. Maharshi Vālmiki wrote Rāmāyana and Veda Vyās wrote Māhabhārata.

The social media perspective

“With power comes responsibility and with more power comes more responsibility” – Spiderman

So is it only for the superheroes or even for us when it comes to social media messages. We are forward or post, crimes, hate speeches, war issues, natural calamities, endless debates, jokes, politics, and videos on social media

I wonder what would Galileo or Einstein say today, ‘Social media messages travel even faster than light’. Yes, it is more true today. One may like it or hate it one cannot ignore it. We got the power in our hands to use social media for the benefit, for the cause or disruption. Mobile phones and social media are our friends than ever before.

It would have served more if people would have focused more on reading good books and improving their life rather than falling in their trap of atrocities.

What can be done?

• Be mindful and diligent of what you want to read and forward/ post on social media.
• Check the facts. For example, when a message says, a company ‘PQR’ is employing people, call on so and so number or send your resume to …@.., first call that number to check if the message is a fact or a hoax.
• Be aware that the message originators have their vested interest. Do not fall prey to it.
•   Analyze the emotion you are in before you forward. For example is your emotion to share information, for time pass, to show your presence on social media, to satisfy your ego, or just because you have got a forwarded message/ post, you feel the urge to forward the same. If it is any of the above just stay away from forwarding it.
• Understand is it your obsession or addiction. If you are one of those who forward/ post due to above-mentioned emotions then leave such groups that encourage useless forwards/ posts.
• Be your own best friend. Save your energy for your friends and family.
• Though one cannot see this, imagine the not so value-added virtual population you create for which you do not have the right data.
• Remember the boomerang effect. You get back what you give. So if you forward/ post unnecessary things you are going to get the same. So stop blaming social media.
• Reflect, reflect, and reflect your active presence on social media.
• Be a responsible citizen.

Happy posting

Sonali Wagle

Mental and Emotional Fitness for Women

The fitness mantra has been taken over by many people and women are not far. Physical fitness has always been given importance even more by Doctors. I had heard a talk by a renowned cardiologist on heart ailments and cure. He spoke about the importance of physical fitness. The Doctor nowhere mentioned the importance of mental and emotional fitness.

For example, when a woman is pregnant, all in the family including her focus on her well-being. They will do everything to keep her happy and charged up. However, once the baby is delivered, people forget that the mothers need to be happy irrespective of if she is pregnant or not. The whole focus now shifts to losing weight and being fit.

With Hormonal changes happening in a woman, a woman needs to also focus on mental and emotional fitness a big neglected area.

10 things that a woman can do to work on mental and emotional fitness

•        Let go – Let go of adhering to others’ expectations. Stop comparing yourself to other women. You are born with your DNA and circumstances. Every time you compare, make a mental note- ‘My DNA is different’. Every person has their own journey.
•   .    It is OK to make mistakes - Who said you have to be perfect all the time. Your moms? The majority of women have seen/ faced the consequences of being perfect. So what are the things women want to do perfectly, below are a few examples

Perfections	Experiments
Match the entire wardrobe	§  Try experimenting colors that you would otherwise avoid §  Wear different socks on each foot while going for a workout
Food	§  Use less salt (this has its own benefits) §  Eating healthy is good. Who said indulgence is a sin. Have your cake and eat it too.
Children	§  Practice non-interference. It is OK for a child to get less marks. It is OK for them to fail. Tolerance for mistakes is key.
Looks	§  You don’t need to look good all the time. Try looking untidy, Let your hair be freezy. It is fun.

• .      Stop pleasing – Learn to say NO. The only person you need to please is yourself. Stop being a perfect daughter, mom, and wife. If things go wrong in the family, stop being responsible.
•   .    Get out of the guilt trap – Women are conditioned to be guilty. Learn to stop expecting from yourself. Guilt for not being the perfect daughter, wife, mother, or friend.
•   .    Your happiness is only in your hands – When were the times you were really really happy. No one can make anyone happy. The moment you start expecting that your parents, husband, and children will make you happy. Deep down they cannot make you happy.
•   .    Compromise – Let go this word out of the dictionary. Self-pity is the enemy of a woman. It is easier said than done. The majority of the women are graduates in compromising for parents, in-laws husbands, and children. Make a small diary and list things where you feel you have compromised and work on it.
•   .    Aware – Be aware of what is happening within you. Being aware of your emotions. List your emotions - happy, jealous, fear, resentment, blame, anger, worry, and guilt. Listing this will help you be more aware of your senses.
•   .    Get financially independent – Financially independent means not just earning money but also managing it. It will do wonders for your self-esteem.
•   .    Take out time to yourself – Go watch movies, meet friends. Solitude has its own power and benefits.
•     . Mediate – Once a day meditation will do wonders to balance your emotions. Meditation helps you to calm down and work on your anxieties. Meditation helps you to think clearly. Experts recommend a minimum of half an hour of meditation.

The above 10 are a part of habits that can be inculcated the same way as we may go for a gym or a workout. A lot depends on how serious you are to develop your mental and emotional fitness.

Stay happy stay healthy

With Gratitude

Dr. Sonali Wagle

Needs v/s Wants

The Samaññaphala Sutta  (The Fruit of Contemplative/ homeless Life), from Digha Nikāya (The long discourses of the Buddha), the story goes as follows

Once King  Ajātasattu of Magadha asks the Buddha, “Can you lord, point out the benefit of a contemplative life here and now.”

The Buddha states the benefits of a contemplative life here and now with the elaborate sutta (salient features and benefits of leading a contemplative life are given below)

•     A man having restrained in body, speech, and thought in solitude earns respect than even a king or any other person of high stature.
•  This man is content with basic clothes (robes for monk) to cover his body, food for nutrition (not to entertain our taste buds), lodging, and medicines. A monk is content with what he has. Just as the bird with wings flies hither and thither, burdened by nothing but its wings, so he is satisfied.
• Preaches the dhamma (law of nature). Follows the nature, do not abuse nature. Hence nature also takes care of him.
•  A person who is perfected in morality in virtue, sees no danger from any side, He experiences a blameless bliss that comes from maintaining this Ariyan morality.
• The person is mindful and aware and hence is better able to understand the way of life and can deal with chaos.
•  A person who guards his sense doors (senses here, eyes – vision, ears- sound, nose – smell, tongue – taste, and body – touch), is not in control of the sense doors but controls the sense doors.
• The person takes no loan taken to satisfy his wants. And hence can live a life in peace.
•  Insight knowledge – That we live in ignorance (avijjā) and that everything is subject to change. He understands this not at just an intellectual level but also with experience. 

This sutta plays an important role especially in today’s turbulent times. If we now understand the difference between need and want, we can reap immense benefits.

We live in a world of materialism, brands, luxury, consumerism, spending habits, and status. Whatever is happening in the world today, has given us a fair chance to revisit our spending habits and patterns, and seriously think of our needs and wants. What may be a need for one maybe a want for others and vice versa. To know if a particular thing is a need or a want, one needs to be ‘brutally honest’.

https://4470618b-9730-48f6-b16a-48ea8c9b96f6.filesusr.com/ugd/10dc66_f1fb38a64bf2489693b1cf172ac9e998.pdf

Does Money Matter -COVID 19

COVID-19 is an eye-opener to all those who were ignorant or pretended to be ignorant of their behaviors. Interestingly, natural calamities or pandemics throw light on the dynamics of human behavior.

For ages, there has been a disparity between the developed countries and developing countries, rich and poor. Racism, religion, castism, gender bias, status, blame game, the I factor (ego), human exploitation, pay disparity, overconsumption of resources,  spending habits, and biased and convenient policies have always been a hindrance in the sustainable growth of any organization. The majority of the organizations have given undue importance to money, the revenues, the growth, the profits, and all this has come with a cost, ‘The human cost.’  

Does money help during such a crisis? If yes, to what extent and in which way?

Hats off to people who work, risk their lives (and their loved ones) and have done their bit for the larger cause of humanity. This skin in the game is vital. In the end, what mattered is the human element and the proof is for all to see.

COVID has made most of us think and introspect.

Key lessons:

• Money is not everything.
•  One can let go of the status.
• People can work from home and yet be productive.
• There is no competition.
• Cultivating empathy is possible.
• Realizing that it is fine to make mistakes.
• Work for the larger cause.
• There is no one to blame.
• It is not difficult to work on and let go of the addictions and habits.
• Not difficult to live a life of minimalism.
• The enemy is within (thoughts and actions).
• People can take 100% responsibility for their actions.
• Ego (self) is given too much importance.
• One can spend time with the family.
• Relax and introspect.
• All are equal in front of nature. Nature spares no one.  

HR and L&D professionals need to take a cue from this sad and unfortunate event and work on many aspects. First, the culture – a culture where people are important irrespective of the country, religion, and gender.  

Culture
Currently practiced	Needed
Bias in hiring and promotions	Talent recognition
Pay disparity	Work-based pay
Blame	Accountability
What is in for me	How will I contribute and use my talent
Terms and conditions	Transparency
Focusing on mistakes	Creating opportunities
Self-focused (ego-driven)	Focus on a larger cause
Money driven	Human element

Second, devise policies that are transparent, neutral and focus on the larger cause. Third, have skin in the game outlook where everyone is responsible for their decisions and its consequences. Fourth, the CSR (Corporate Social Responsibility) investments to be made in the areas that matter. Fifth, understanding what people actually do rather than being in the illusion about what they do. Fifth, knowing what really matters.

For this HR and L&D professionals need to be brutally honest and ask does money really matter?

Be safe

Sonali Wagle