Mental and Emotional Fitness for Women

The fitness mantra has been taken over by many people and women are not far. Physical fitness has always been given importance even more by Doctors. I had heard a talk by a renowned cardiologist on heart ailments and cure. He spoke about the importance of physical fitness. The Doctor nowhere mentioned the importance of mental and emotional fitness.

For example, when a woman is pregnant, all in the family including her focus on her well-being. They will do everything to keep her happy and charged up. However, once the baby is delivered, people forget that the mothers need to be happy irrespective of if she is pregnant or not. The whole focus now shifts to losing weight and being fit.

With Hormonal changes happening in a woman, a woman needs to also focus on mental and emotional fitness a big neglected area.

10 things that a woman can do to work on mental and emotional fitness

•        Let go – Let go of adhering to others’ expectations. Stop comparing yourself to other women. You are born with your DNA and circumstances. Every time you compare, make a mental note- ‘My DNA is different’. Every person has their own journey.
•   .    It is OK to make mistakes - Who said you have to be perfect all the time. Your moms? The majority of women have seen/ faced the consequences of being perfect. So what are the things women want to do perfectly, below are a few examples

Perfections	Experiments
Match the entire wardrobe	§  Try experimenting colors that you would otherwise avoid §  Wear different socks on each foot while going for a workout
Food	§  Use less salt (this has its own benefits) §  Eating healthy is good. Who said indulgence is a sin. Have your cake and eat it too.
Children	§  Practice non-interference. It is OK for a child to get less marks. It is OK for them to fail. Tolerance for mistakes is key.
Looks	§  You don’t need to look good all the time. Try looking untidy, Let your hair be freezy. It is fun.

• .      Stop pleasing – Learn to say NO. The only person you need to please is yourself. Stop being a perfect daughter, mom, and wife. If things go wrong in the family, stop being responsible.
•   .    Get out of the guilt trap – Women are conditioned to be guilty. Learn to stop expecting from yourself. Guilt for not being the perfect daughter, wife, mother, or friend.
•   .    Your happiness is only in your hands – When were the times you were really really happy. No one can make anyone happy. The moment you start expecting that your parents, husband, and children will make you happy. Deep down they cannot make you happy.
•   .    Compromise – Let go this word out of the dictionary. Self-pity is the enemy of a woman. It is easier said than done. The majority of the women are graduates in compromising for parents, in-laws husbands, and children. Make a small diary and list things where you feel you have compromised and work on it.
•   .    Aware – Be aware of what is happening within you. Being aware of your emotions. List your emotions - happy, jealous, fear, resentment, blame, anger, worry, and guilt. Listing this will help you be more aware of your senses.
•   .    Get financially independent – Financially independent means not just earning money but also managing it. It will do wonders for your self-esteem.
•   .    Take out time to yourself – Go watch movies, meet friends. Solitude has its own power and benefits.
•     . Mediate – Once a day meditation will do wonders to balance your emotions. Meditation helps you to calm down and work on your anxieties. Meditation helps you to think clearly. Experts recommend a minimum of half an hour of meditation.

The above 10 are a part of habits that can be inculcated the same way as we may go for a gym or a workout. A lot depends on how serious you are to develop your mental and emotional fitness.

Stay happy stay healthy

With Gratitude

Dr. Sonali Wagle

Needs v/s Wants

The Samaññaphala Sutta  (The Fruit of Contemplative/ homeless Life), from Digha Nikāya (The long discourses of the Buddha), the story goes as follows

Once King  Ajātasattu of Magadha asks the Buddha, “Can you lord, point out the benefit of a contemplative life here and now.”

The Buddha states the benefits of a contemplative life here and now with the elaborate sutta (salient features and benefits of leading a contemplative life are given below)

•     A man having restrained in body, speech, and thought in solitude earns respect than even a king or any other person of high stature.
•  This man is content with basic clothes (robes for monk) to cover his body, food for nutrition (not to entertain our taste buds), lodging, and medicines. A monk is content with what he has. Just as the bird with wings flies hither and thither, burdened by nothing but its wings, so he is satisfied.
• Preaches the dhamma (law of nature). Follows the nature, do not abuse nature. Hence nature also takes care of him.
•  A person who is perfected in morality in virtue, sees no danger from any side, He experiences a blameless bliss that comes from maintaining this Ariyan morality.
• The person is mindful and aware and hence is better able to understand the way of life and can deal with chaos.
•  A person who guards his sense doors (senses here, eyes – vision, ears- sound, nose – smell, tongue – taste, and body – touch), is not in control of the sense doors but controls the sense doors.
• The person takes no loan taken to satisfy his wants. And hence can live a life in peace.
•  Insight knowledge – That we live in ignorance (avijjā) and that everything is subject to change. He understands this not at just an intellectual level but also with experience. 

This sutta plays an important role especially in today’s turbulent times. If we now understand the difference between need and want, we can reap immense benefits.

We live in a world of materialism, brands, luxury, consumerism, spending habits, and status. Whatever is happening in the world today, has given us a fair chance to revisit our spending habits and patterns, and seriously think of our needs and wants. What may be a need for one maybe a want for others and vice versa. To know if a particular thing is a need or a want, one needs to be ‘brutally honest’.

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